Bern - Exit from Milan, Italy Provides Another Tale of Travel

Friday, the 14th of April, would be our final day in the "South" of Europe. Our last hours in Italy. And just like our travel experience trying to get into the country, from Barcelona, our travel experience trying to get out of the country was even more comical.

In the morning, we put the finishing touches on some Philly issues that required our attention, and then finished uploading all the new photos and videos to the website. By 11:00 am, we checked out, strapped on the packs, and hoofed it down to the metro. Along the way, we came across a little bakery, and I stopped to get a delicious little "pizzette", a "crustona" bread and a water, while Vee munched on the apple she successfully smuggled out of the breakfast room (...she's good!).

We took the yellow line metro to the Centrale train station with about 2 hours to kill before our preferred afternoon train scheduled for Bern, Switzerland was to depart. We got in line to reserve our seats, and after about a 30 minute wait, when it was our turn, we were told that we were to be in a different waiting line exclusively for international departures on the other side of the train station. We accepted the news without so much as a whimper, and dragged ourselves over to the other line, where only one agent was servicing the que. We waited for at least another 30 minutes, and were able to get reserved seats on our preferred train. Yay! We still had about 30 minutes to kill so we wandered the station in search of reading material, which I found in a Tribune I puchased, and an ice cream for Vee that surprisingly turned out to be of the nutty-buddy variety. By this time, my sweat-soaken t-shirt was finally dry and we boarded the train, very happily discovering that our seats were in a private cabin, and that by the time the train pulled away, it looked like no one else was going to be occupying the 4 other empty seats inside our cozy little cave.

After about 30 minutes, a train agent invaded to check our tickets. With a quick glance at our ticket, but without looking up, she declared rather stoicly that this train was not going to Bern. Vee and I looked at each other like "what?". She re-stated this fact and as the train was coming to a stop, she explained that we had to get off the train immediately, get the next train back to Milan, and then get on board a different train that was actually headed to Bern. She scribbled down the time schedules for the trains she recommended, and tried to explain as best she could in a mix of mostly Italian and a few words of English what we needed to do. With the train now completely stopped, we only had seconds to grab our bags, and everything that we had already taken out of our bags, and jump off the train. Once on the platform, we needed to re-group, exchanged a few choice words about the situation, repack our bags, and figure out what to do next. I spotted an oncoming train apparently bound for Milano, so we ran underground, and back up to the adjacent platform where the train had stopped. We lept aboard while reconfirming with another lady getting on the train, "Milano?", "Si, si.", whew! As the stations passed, and close to 30 minutes passed, we were beginning to wonder why the landscape was not looking like the one we saw on the way out of Milan, and the already frayed nerves began to unravel (some of us more than others...eh-hhemmm...;-)) This was not helped by the fact that the woman who confirmed "Milano?" for me had just gotten off the train a few stops earlier mumbling something to herself (in Italian...Vee caught bits of it) about not seeing correctly. And, the stations kept passing by. With no train agents in sight, Vee bravely approached the only slighly lucid-looking, thoroughly disheveled-looking comrade sitting ominously in the rear corner of the train car, and asked if he knew if this train was going to Milan. He confirmed this. Then Vee dropped "Stazione Centrale?", which was met with a firm "No" and an explanation in Italian about another train station in Milan, and that we would have to get off there and take a Metro to Centrale (from which the next train to Bern was leaving). Now things were getting reeeeally interesting. Vee pulled out the map, and as we passed stations, we tried to plot them on the map, and to our relief, we could...and then we couldn't...and then we could...and then we couldn't...aaahhhhhhhh!! Finally, we said that no matter what, we were getting off at the next stop, and with GREAT relief, that next stop was for Milano, just not Stazione Centrale. We de-trained, and headed for the metro station. On the way, I totally bowled over some young ladys' luggage with my main pack that I was pulling behind me, and didn't even realize it! Vee watched the whole event unfold and realizing my complete ignorance of what just happened, apoligized profusely for me. Luckily, the young lady took it very well, and only smiled and said it was okay, no problem. Of course, as I looked behind me to see what was holding Vee up, I had no idea what Vee was being so animatedly apoligetic about, nor why this chaotic exchange was unfolding in my wake. It wasn't until we were already on our way again that Vee was able to fully explain to me what the heck I had just done. Of course I felt like a total world-class schmuck, and wanted to apoligize profusely, but by that time it was too late, and I couldn't even apoligize anyway because I didn't know how to say it in Italian. With that episode behind us, we found the right metro, and two stops later were right back where we started 4 hours ago. The immediate dilemma was to decide whether or not we should try to re-confirm new seats on this later train, or just get on board and hope for the best. We really wanted to ensure a trouble-free ride this time, and thus opted to get into the line for international travel again, and wait our turn for an attempt to secure reservations on the next train to Bern. This is when the fireworks began. Some guy butted right into the front of the line and verbally attacked the agent behind the ticket window. With shoulders all puffed up, arms outstretched, muscles popping out, and fierce eyes drilling through the hopefully bullet-proof glass, he unleashed a battery of Italian I wanted sooooo badly to be able to understand. Time continued ticking away, the line was getting longer, and the train we wanted to take was leaving in about 20 minutes. A different ticketing agent from the opposite side of their office lept out of his chair to the aid of the other one, and absolutely ripped into the guy who initiated the raucous. But that wasn't good enough, and the despite having gone back to his chair, the heated, highly-animated exchanged continued. Finally, a more officially dressed, yet gruff-looking, sea lion of a man slowly emerged from the darker depths of the ticketing office to attempt a resolution where the other agents had so obviously miserably failed to do so. With his head cocked back in a mix of disgust and stern objectivity, he peered down through the thick-black-plastic-encased near-sighted shards that dangled on the tip of his nose, and reviewed the details on the computer screen of the first ticketing agent who was attacked. Minutes passed and finally the line started moving again with the disgruntled guy being handled at another window, away from the others. With only 8 minutes before the train was to depart, and finally positioned at the front of the line, we had to make a decision: run for the train and hope for the best, OR hope that we get called up within the next few seconds to confirm new seats. Tick tock, tick tock. We bolted for it. No more time to waste. As we ran for the train, an agent stopped us to verify our tickets, and he assured us that even though our tickets were for an earlier train, this one was empty enough where it didn't make a difference and that we could choose a seat anywhere on board. And yes, this train really was headed for Bern. Not a moment too soon, as within a minute after boarding, the train pulled away. We chose some seats in a car that was mostly empty and settled in for the ride. With time, we were laughing, and then found ourselves awestruck by the Italian Alps that were unfolding before us. The ride to Bern was absolutely stunning! Once officially in Switzerland, and off the train, in Bern, we struggled to find our hotel, but eventually did. The very friendly lady behind the front desk spoke with us in excellent English, and even upgraded us to a room with its own facilities on the top floor since there was going to be a very loud disco going on downstairs. We unloaded our things and went out to explore the area. We had a delicous dinner at a typical fondue house (Vee - chicken breast and salad, Cliff - fettucino alfredo) and with bloated bellies, we rumbled back to the hotel and quickly tucked ourselves into our down comforters and let sleep put an end to a very interesting day.

Saturday, the day before Easter, we enjoyed a nice included breakfast, got cleaned up and headed out before the rain could start. We wandered through the open market, and the shop-lined streets, had a few refreshments in one of the many smokey cafes, and climbed the spires of the cathedral for some great views of the city, river, surrounding snow covered mountains and rolling green hills. The stained glass windows inside the cathedral were wonderful! The rain started, and we headed over the bridge to shoot a photo of the city's bear statue in the middle of the river falls. With the rain getting heavier, we found shelter in another cafe, where we had espressos, a panini, and read the Financial Times. With the day growing long, and the rain not letting up, we returned to the hotel where we perused tourist publications to see what there was to do in Bern, in the rain, or if the weather would actually cooperate a bit. The rain continued, and we prepared a plan for the evening. In one of our tourist publications, we found a jazz club, Marian's, that was to be one of the best in the world. We got online, eventually, to check out their website and found that their show schedule was 2 months out of date, which wasn't promising. We also found a micro-brewery listed in one of our guides, and looked that up online, found it to have really good reviews, so we decided on that. Around 10pm, we ventured out into the pouring rain, figured out the tram/bus system, bought our tickets, and took a 7-8 minute ride to the other side of town, where the "Altes TramDepot" was located next to the famous "Bear Pits". The place was full, and the only two seats were at a table for 4, where a young couple were seated alone. The host pointed to those two empty seats, and with some apprehension, yet willingness to embrace any social norms we might not yet be accustomed to, we walked to the table and gestured to the young couple if it would be okay for us to sit with them, and they communicated that it would be no problem at all. We sat down, with that awkward obligated ridiculously overly self-conscious behavior of "look only directly into my eyes, I'll only look directly into your eyes, don't look to far away in case you catch the eye of the stranger seated next to you". We eventually eased up, and started talking with the other couple a bit, and they were really sweet and friendly. Turns out they were waiting for their bill anyway, and left not too long after we sat down. The waitress couldn't figure us out. Vee with her perfect German, but not looking exactly Swiss, and me, looking more Swiss than most of the Swiss people in the restaurant, but unable to speak a lick of any one of her country's 3 official languages (German, French, Italian). We placed our orders and were delighted with heaping plates of hearty Swiss deliciousness. My food was a pile of buttery home fried potatoes, with sauteed onions, tomato slices, Italian spices, and gobs of melted mozzarella. Vee's was an equally gargantuan plate of melted mozzarella enveloped bread slices with ham and tomato slices. We were both sooooo happy with our circumstances. Loads of food. Freshly brewed beer. A safe, secure, clean and organized, yet energetic and vibrant atmosphere. It was a fantastic night. Of course,we sampled all the beers, a helles, a weizen, a marzen and a dupel. After a few hours, we'd had all we could handle for one sitting, and braved the pouring rain again for a quick bus ride back to the hotel, and went to sleep. Tomorrow, we're off to Interlaken!